Monthly Archives: April 2006

Burning my travels clean

Here are all my blogs from myspace, which I’m closing
down, I just don’t want to lose them will start from the latest and
work backward.





I’m looking in on the good life i might be doomed never to find.

: Thursday March 23, 2006

when life is good to me I make an extra special point to come right out and say so and give thanks to the powers that be.

Life is good, thanks.

It’s
true what Jason said about someone with headphones on as they walk are
empowered with confidence and beauty and an oblivious bliss. I think
however, in my own experience it’s a cathartic remedy for self doubt
and over exposure pain that leaves you tragically unconnected from the
world. I can’t spread my love if I’m focused on the rythmic exchange
going on inside between my ears and my heart. I find I miss out on the
soft sound of my feet hitting the pavement or the birds chirping, or
the sirens of a police car as they go off. AND those sirens say to me,
“Marla, you are not alone.”

and in turn I smile at the sorrowful stranger, say hi, and they know that they aren’t alone either.

I say we start carrying around boom boxes, leave the selfish ipods at home.
roll down the windows of your car and crank up the volume…share.

Ok now to the point I’m avoiding.

my
home exists at opposite ends of what turns out to be a six hour flight 
and a three hour drive to get me from logan to paducah. It’s humanly
impossible for me to stretch that far.




I remember being better

: Sunday March 19, 2006

Dave says:

hey there



marla says:

yeah rage!



marla says:

how’s it goin?



Dave says:

goin good and u



marla says:

eh so so



Dave says:

why just so so



marla says:

I don’t know



marla says:

I just remember being better



Dave says:

you know what….



Dave says:

i know exactly what you mean



Dave says:

seems like i’ve peaked and it’s all downhill from here



marla says:

hahaha oh no that’s so depressing



marla says:

I think you peak go down level out for what seems to be an exaggerated time period then you might peak again



Dave says:

i’ve been waiting for another peak for a few years now



Dave says:

maybe it’ll come



Dave says:

we’re still relatively young



marla says:

thirty will probobly be a good year



Dave says:

i’m shooting for 28



marla says:

I’m actually shooting for wednesday but we’ll see



Dave says:

what’s goin down on wednesday



marla says:

I’m flying home for a week



marla says:

my older bro. is coming home from a mission for our church



marla says:

it’s been two years haven’t seen him



Dave says:

that’s good



Dave says:

i haven’t seen my family together in years



marla says:

yeah, it’s going to be everyone, even my dad is coming down from indiana, it’ll be great



marla says:

or a complete disaster, we’ll see



Dave says:

that’s usually what happens when my family gets together



Dave says:

but hey it makes me feel home



marla says:

I know, I can’t imagine my family not being disfunctional



Dave says:

haha



Dave says:

so how’s the guitar career coming



marla says:

oh fame and fortune are just around the corner



marla says:

you know how it goes



marla says:

I’ve written a couple more songs this semester



Dave says:

that’s beautiful



marla says:

haha, how about you?



Dave says:

i’m trying to get a band together



marla says:

found anyone yet?



Dave says:

yeah i got a guy i work with learning on the guitar and he’s got some buddies who could fill out the band



Dave says:

maybe when we record our first album you could fly out and make a guest appearance



marla says:

I’m all over it


marla says:

just tell me when





what are the many volumed romance novels and social conquests of a brilliant girl to me? : Saturday March 4, 2006

“If you added up the distance I’ve run in the past few weeks and paved a road for me, I’d be home by now.”
 -Jason

Regardless
of what has happened, the people I met, the things I’ve done and seen,
and where ever this road is taking me, I own who I am and where I come
from. That is my job description.

Cheerleading was such an
appropriate sport for me. Sitting on the sidelines doing my thing,
watching everyone else play the game, while I just try and figure it
out and lend my support to whoever needs it. The world is a spectator
sport for me to observe and critique and never really be a part of.

But
that’s how I prefer it really. It’s more just a matter of doing my own
thing instead of playing the game with everyone else. I’d rather take
my tray up to the trash after lunch by myself than wait for a friend to
do it with me.

Whenever I get to feeling too much “a Part” of things, my spirit starts to die. I’m not even kidding. 

That’s
why I need to go home soon. I need to re-establish myself as someone
with a world all of her own. Not because I belong there or here or
anywhere else I’ve been but b/c the combination of those places and
faces are uniquely found in me. I belong in all of them seperately and
conglomerately. 

I run a lot. I start out running toward
something, some visible goal, then I find out the goal was an illusion
and I’m actually running away from something. Then after putting a safe
distance between me and that something, I just get
so…soooooooooo…sick and tired of uncertainty that I double my pace
and run like hell praying the whole time that I’ll just find somewhere
to stop and chill for a while. The only problem is I’m more of a long
distance runner than a sprinter, so I exhaust all my energy and breath
and end up toltally screwed, and still no where.

Perhaps I’m
frustrated because I’m not allocating my resources efficiently. I’m
prodcing inside my production possibilities curve because I’m
missplacing my focus and my energy. Perhaps I would be better use as a
militant enviromentalist or a circus clown, kids always laugh at me.
But seriously, I just feel like I have the capacity to do more in some
other sphere besides love seeking, and working at Macey’s Grocries.

What
this all amounts to is my talking walking taco won’t let me give up.
And I’m reveling in the fact that the one person who knows what I mean
by that has probobly forgotten. I have a secret.



I am Haight And Ashburry.: November 30, 2006

America
You package Fun
& put it on sale for $39.95
You dance @ shopping malls
You tapdance on the ashes of the pitiful and desolate…

Homeless Man

Big
Bigger
BIGGER…BIIIIGGEEER-eat dirt America

You Reward
the corporate sell-out
With the Noble effing Peace Prize
Mother Nature birthed you
& in a hapless frenzy
has disowened you and given up–frown

You SUCK! America
you suck up Oxygen and Spew out Carbon Dioxide–ahh I’m choking.
Raising cows just to eat them
chopping down my G-ma’s Dogwood tree
To build a jiffy lube–I need a tissue

France won’t have it
You ARE the child left behind
Bushwalla.

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