Welp he asked so I’m going to give him an answer.

So this guy asked me the other day, “Marla what would it take for a guy to get you to fall in love with him?” without any further ado I present to you my final answer…I’m presenting this as a personal slight to every guy I am 100% sure will never read it.

He would have to:
1. Be conscious. If you refer to dictionary.com, “having the mental faculties fully active.” This goes beyond your typical booksmarts and/or intellectualism.I’ve heard it described as someone who has a big spirit. It seems to have to do with the combination of a kind heart, imagination, and a dedication to rational thought process.

Alcohol, obsession with superficial social life, and crappy music all work to nullify consciousness.

I find this to be the most attractive but rare quality for someone to posess. I will love someone who gives themself over to just thinking about things. If someone can challenge a well-thought out conclusion of mine, I will be impressed, and weak in the knees.

2.[he would have to] not be depressed and full of self pity. Here is why. If a person who is happy and likes themself shows interest in you, essentially they are saying, “Hey I think you are cool enough to date me.” If a person is miserable and thinks they are an ugly waste shows interest in you they are saying, “If you date me, you must be pretty lame, b/c otherwise you wouldn’t date me.” Also if someone is comfortable with themselves you are more likely to feel comfortable around them. I am so tired of going on dates with guys who can’t talk about anything else except how boring they are.

3. He would have to be taller or at least bigger than me, b/c I do not want to be the man in a relationship.

4. He would need to laugh at my jokes, or make me laugh, or laugh at the same things I did.

5. Being an intelligent person he would understand that relationships take time. There is no need to be in a rush, I’m not going anywhere. There is no need for hurry.

6.He would have to have a lot of faith, and a relationship with God. He would have to be a really good guy. Not just someone who goes through the motions of obediantly following the rules. But someone who has built character from consistantly and intellitgently making right choices.

I think such a person would understand the connection between love and sacrafice. Because so many people are out to see what they can take from love and not what love they possess to offer.

7. So many people are selfish, needy and insecure. I would love someone for being selfless, independant, and confidant.

Now that I’ve talked about what I want, I would like to issue a personal challenge to all my readers. GO find out what it is YOU want, and NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER settle for anything less, not even for one night. Have faith that when you know, you know, and if you don’t know, then it’s not right so move on and quit wasting everyones time. And while we’re on the topic of time, Relationships take time to build they do not come over night and if you force intimacy and rush into it before know the person, then you WILL end up settling. Slow DOWN!!!

Please read this article it will blow your mind.




2 thoughts on “Welp he asked so I’m going to give him an answer.

  1. MYvolition

    Wow, this is impressive.  I’m so happy to read someone else’s list and it not say “Oh my gosh, they have got to be hott, blonde, and athletic.”At least with your future marriage, we are talking about something that can last forever.

  2. Bloodypaindeath

    Well, now I feel kinda silly :PI guess it would be in bad taste not to write something though.I suppose that essentially I am looking for the same thing in a person (with the exception of number 3). I would add something to the first one though. The other day I was talking to someone about the critiques we do in art classes and such. It’s a lot of thinking critically and bouncing ideas off of each other to achieve the greater goal of bringing the best out of a piece of work and growing as artists. So I guess what I mean is that when two people agree or pretend to agree on everything, then how can they grow intellectually? Maybe that’s a little too abstract though.In response to number 2, I have to say that this is something you see far too often, especially with guys. There are some who aren’t confident in themselves and so they use pity as a method to get girls. I wouldn’t say it’s a reflection on you, just that the person has pretty low self-esteem. For example: sometimes we hang out with this guy and he really likes my friend Liza, so every chance he gets he talks about how he doesn’t get along with his dad and how his ex-fiance cheated on him. Those are pretty terrible things but we get the point already, you know?Selfishness has always been a huge pet peeve of mine. We decided one time that selfishness is truly the root of all evil. I have been with/been friends with enough selfish people to see how bad a relationship like that is. If I’m with someone and I feel like I should just be giving of myself to them, but they can’t show their appreciation or return those feelings, then it tends to leave me pretty empty feeling. Which might sound selfish of me perhaps. It’s tough to think about that one.As for Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo+Juliet: I have to say that it is probably on my top ten if not my top five. It is a fantastic film and the soundtrack is wonderful (one of the reasons I fell in love with Radiohead at such a young age). And yes, my freshman year of high school we watched the 1968 version and yes my teacher did skip the sex scene. I know that when my little sister watched it in school here in Utah, they were forced to watch it. Well maybe not forced.There is nothing long-winded about what you have written here. As you can see, I am the same way. Also I didn’t spellcheck this so good luck!


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