apathy could save a life.

I don’t hate love, or the color pink, but do we have to give it a holiday? This is exactly what I fundamentally can’t stomach about the world my parents brought me into. Normally I would take this day to embark on a quest to somehow accept my singlehood, and reconcile my lonliness with some newfound self worth, but today I woke up thinking about something entirely off the subject. I dreamt about cheerleading, so I woke up formulating a conversation I would have with a squad about responsibility to the school and community and being nice people if I were a coach. (I used to cheer, I don’t know if you know this but I really want to coach someday) Anyway, one thing led to another and I decided to start the morning off by writing in my journal (something I usually save till the afternoon.) As I started to write the date, I realized for the first time today, it was the first day of February.

Quickly, two thoughts passed through my mind.
1.”13 days till valentines day, probobly not going to have a boyfriend this year, again.”
2. “Thank _____, February is so damn short”

and that was that, I put it all behind me and moved on until-

Just now, I was sitting at my desk at work minding my own business, trying to get a little homework done, when my boss deposits a pile of hearts on my desk and tells me to go decorate the office. So I finish the paragraph and try to find some way to hang up these damned wire streamer things. I scour the office for some push pins, which for some reason we’ve got a hundred and all of them are in use, so I steal some from the sigma tau delta board. With sheer blunt force and some scotch tape I develop this method that is nothing short of genius.

 Anyway, I’m in the process when this guy from my english class who I think is cute walks by…with a girlfriend…there is this awkward exchange of glances that convey a message like, “Hey I know you but I have less than a millisecond to acknowledge that before I walk completely past the doorway!” and there I was, me the epitome of all that is single standing, alone, ineptly, with a pile of hearts in hand.

I’ll give you a second to swallow all that irony.


2 thoughts on “apathy could save a life.

  1. Bloodypaindeath

    I have always had a bit of disdain for Valentine’s Day. Normally I don’t think about being single, but Valentine’s Day has a way of kicking you in the dirt and rubbing your face in it.The other day at work my boss approached me before she left and said, “Oh by the way, I scheduled you for Valentine’s Day. Sorry, but I really need somebody to be here.” I suppose that my singlehood is just so painfully obvious to everyone. Anyway, I told her I had class and that I couldn’t come in. I don’t actually know if I do, but at least I won’t be working. I am right there on the same page I guess.


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