The perks of being a wall flower

I wish I had my own secret language. I would post a blog that everyone could see but no one could understand. It would say the truth about everything I’m thinking right now. That way people who think they know me would check my blog, and realize they don’t know me at all, because they didn’t even know I had my own secret language.

Ш цфте ещ ьщму ещ туикфылфю Еруку Ш цщгдв иу цруку тщ щту лтщцы ьуб фтв еру зущзду црщ вщ лтщц ьу цщгдвтэе лтщц цруку Ш цфыю

That is not Russian, that is my new secret language. There is a reward for anyone who can crack the code, and tell me what is written there. If you can, I will take you out for dinner at Carrabba’s. You can order anything you want. Appetizers, specialty drinks, dessert.

Today I’ve decided that I want zero kids. zero more people in my life. I don’t want anyone else to worry about. I have plenty of people to worry about and I don’t want any more. To anyone who is considering making my acquaintance there will be a rigorous testing and assessing procedure you will need to pass to prove mental/physical health and stability and predictable life outcome. Anyone who is flirting with the idea of a mid life crisis in 20 years or anything of that nature, I have friends I can refer you to.


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