Monthly Archives: November 2009

“swine flu”

Symptoms of swine flu:

general creepiness
loss of chest/arm hair
translucency
permanently pursed lips

symptoms

For what it’s worth I would like everyone to know that I had no gastric or intestinal symptoms,
but the Doctor insisted that I have the good old conspiracy virus.

There is no cause for alarm – as of 9 o’clock tonight I will no longer be contagious.
How do you GET swine flu you ask? Well there are a couple ways…

swine-flu

or

pig_kiss

or
you could just have your best friend and EVERY single one of your roommates get sick all about the same time. Whatever works for you.

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My weekend…if you will.

This entire past week I’ve been day dreaming about how I would celebrate the holiday this weekend. Here was my plan:

stay at home alone
pass out candy
watch one of my favorite Halloween movies:
-Arsenic and Old Lace (with Cary Grant)
-Adams Family (not the movie, the old tv series, and this isn’t one of my favorites but I had a craving for it)

I couldn’t find Arsenic and Old Lace anywhere, and I only found Adam’s Family available to purchase, but I couldn’t justify spending $30 to indulge myself. My third option was Young Frankenstein which my roommate has on VHS but I didn’t want to bother hooking up our VCR. (Didn’t want to bother, or was scared I’d fail to figure out how…same difference)

So here’s what ACTUALLY happened:
I went, by myself, to my Aunt and Uncle’s house (who are gone for the weekend).
passed out candy
Put on “The Witches” in the background
and finding myself alone with a baby grand I pulled out my Aunt’s Jekyll and Hyde sheet music and practiced my best Linda Eder. Also found some of my grandmother’s old sheet music (love songs from the 40’s and 50’s) and made up the French pronunciation of “Somewhere Beyond the Sea” (Still stuck in my head).

I was surprised at how much fun it was to pass out candy. As a rule, if the kids told me they liked my costume I let them take two pieces of candy.

As the intervals between visits lengthened I fed the cat and dogs and packed up my things. I could have called it a night, but I opted to push my luck and go to a party instead.

Parties depress me.

There is something ironic about being dressed up as mickey mouse and sitting on a couch trying to find something across the room to look at instead of the drunk guy who keeps saying stupid things and touching your knee.

In other news, Friday I went to Science Unwrapped. WHY HASN’T ANYONE EVER TOLD ME ABOUT THIS?!? It was the last one of the year and I’m so glad I made it. It was about gravitational waves and astronomy. It was fascinating. I was scared of looking like a dork but I took out a pen and paper to take notes on what I wanted to look up later. Did you know that Carl Sagan was of Russian Jewish decent?

One interesting thing that was discussed was the formation of atoms 400,000 years after the Big Bang. (Since when did we stop referring to it as a theory?). One of the braniac kids in the audience asked the guy doing the presentation where the atoms came from, after a long, wordy, complicated answer the kid responded, “So you’re saying they were all mushed up together?”

“Yeah like a soup.”

They raffled off a few books one of which I’m already the proud owner of.

So I guess you could say I learned a lot this weekend.
I think next weekend I’ll try making my own torsion balance if anyone is interested.